[Another Tuesday morning. Their swimming competition days of the season are over, the banner still hangs over the school wall, and Haruka Nanase... is falling asleep in the classroom. For nights now, a sequence of strange dreams have kept him tossing and turning, too unsettled to get any proper rest, and the effects are there. They have the week off from swim practice--a forced week, their "punishment" for cheating, although Amakata-sensei isn't forcing it in the least. But swimmiing, oddl enough, isn't something on Haru's mind at all.
His eyelids, heavy, shut on him once more, and he drops the pencil on his desk. It's lunchtime, and he and Makoto have plans to meet Rei and Nagisa on the roof, yet he hasn't moved at all. Whatever's going on, he doesn't like it. He doesn't appreciate not getting any sleep, or this uncomfortably warm feeling that spreads through his chest every time Makoto brushes shoulders with him. A dream is just a dream, although Haru can't help but feel like the pain of a broken jaw and the warmth of Makoto's hands were very real. Whatever it is, it's done now, he'd told himself earlier in the week.
But apparently, it wasn't. Days later, and he couldn't make heads or tails of any of it. It's downright exhausting, by the fourth day, where he's already forgotten his bento at home and isn't paying much attention in school. They should head to meet with the others... but he can't bring himself to move.]
((With the eraser end of his pencil tapping his teeth, Makoto mostly listened to the lecture. Their teacher was recapping, which was important to listen to, he knew, since it was more likely to be important information to remember, but he felt he had a good hold of it already. He was good with literature like that, and could afford a little of his attention. He day dreamed a bit, thinking about the relay they had not long ago. It was fun and he regretted nothing of it. Rin was their friend again, and he wondered if it would be good to invite him over for the weekend. Or was that too sudden? Would Haru mind joining them? It'd be nice to get the three of them together again, Makoto thought.
From Rin's perspective, it seemed like a good idea, but thinking on it further, he wasn't sure if it would be good for Haru. Maybe Haru was ripped up about losing? That didn't make sense, he seemed refreshed after everything. But that air was leaving, and whatever was festering now didn't smell right. Makoto's eyebrows pinch together as he thinks, uncertain. He noticed it a couple of days ago, but it seemed to get worse. There were a couple times Makotot thought he was misunderstanding Haru's mood, time where Haru's eyes seemed to shimmer at him and not at the ocean. The moments were weird, but Haru was weird. Makoto felt less certain about his friend than he felt comfortable with.
Now the aura around Haru is black, and Makoto glances over briefly, his thoughts moving away from how strange Haru had been the last few days and staying the course toward whether or not he should invite Haru and Rin over to hang out. He looked tired, Makoto deduces. Was he not getting enough sleep? But why? Makoto can't do anything now since class is still in session, so he turns back to his paper. No, he writes on his paper. He would invite Rin over, and if that's alright, he'd at least let Haru know he's welcome to join.
He sighs to himself. Maybe he'll ask Haru about it on the walk home today.
Makoto moves as he normally does when class is dismissed, but looks up surprised when Haru hasn't as well, even after a little delay. His lips turn down. With bag on his shoulder, he stands up and nears Haru.))
Haru? ((If that doesn't get his attention, he'll repeat it and touch his friend's shoulder.))
["But what is it?" is a question that's played over in Haru's mind numerous times now. He just isn't sure what to make of it, and for as addled as his brain has become due to the growing exhaustion, he can't help but dwell on it. Things feel strange, between both himself and Makoto--even though nothing has changed. They swam, they went to school, they played with his rowdy little siblings. Same as always. Except sometimes Haru could feel his heart seize up with overwhelming fear--which hurt, sometimes, he thought--and he'd have no idea what overcame him.
It's strange. He doesn't like it--
"Haru?"
But the lecture is still going on, Haru's sure. He braces himself, as if trying to will himself to not fall asleep in class, to not focus on that nightmare, whatever it is, in this public place. He needs to grab his pencil, grab some tool from reality to hold on to, to think about anything else--but the touch on his shoulder works too. He jumps a little at the realization of Makoto's hand on his shoulder, and whips around to stare at Makoto. The hand on hs shoulder is real, warm and sturdy but gentle as always. Haru's just being foolish. He just needs to stop thinking so hard, and to stop staring so intently out of the window.
It takes him a few long seconds to calm himself, a strange concern in his eyes as he stares at Makoto, but he turns his head away finally as a distant gaze falls onto his face. Everything's fine. And it's got to be lunchtime, the sound of moving desks and chatter's beginning to overwhelm the room. He doesn't have an appetite at all.]
Sorry. [His voice is small and nearly whispered, and he shuts the blank notebook before him.] Time to go?
((He smiles at his friend when their eyes meet. Haru probably needed a smile right now, and Makoto loved offering them.)) Yeah, it is. ((He steps back, pushing the hand he had placed on Haru into his pocket. Eyes watch Haru pull his belongings back together to move, the smile has dropped from Makoto's expression.
The more he thought about it, the more he recalls the haunted expression in Haru's face. Distantly, he thinks of all the potential things that might be on Haru's mind to make him this way.))
Oh, Haru, you know, I've been thinking. Since the club started we haven't really taken Ren and Ran swimming this summer. Break is coming up, too; I'm sure they'd love it. ((Looking for a little spirit in Haru.))
[Makoto's smiles are relieving. Warm, sturdy, set to show that things were okay. And they are. They're fine here, and he probably just needs a good nap and everything will be just fine. He just yawns, and once his desk is cleared, he stands up.
Wait. Taking Ren and Ran swimming means swimming, and Haru's attention immediately turns back to Makoto. They really haven't had the time, have they...]
Just tell me when.
[He's already in his jammers. Which just translates to 'give him a date and he'll get himself out of the bathtub.]
Yeah, sure, I'll talk to them about it. I'm sure they'll be happy about it. Ran's always talking about how much she likes swimming with you. ((a nondescript chuckle.))
[Ran this time, huh... They tend to fight over him a lot, which he still doesn't get. He lets out a soft sigh, but his expression softens more as he turns to look back at Makoto.]
((His smile grows, floppy eared and full of his usual affection. Color fills his cheeks with cheer, his eyes pinch just slightly. Definitely a happier Makoto than whatever haunted Haru's dreams.)) Probably yeah. That okay with you?
[Makoto's smile is his normal smile, Haru belatedly realizes. That same bright curve, cheeks bright and eyes twinkling with excitement. Yet with such a simple question, Haru can't find words to respond at all.
Makoto is still Makoto, and nothing is different. Right?
His response is a slow nod, mouth barely parted, and silent. Whether he's responding to himself, or to Makoto's verbalized question, remains a mystery even to him. It takes him a few solid seconds to remember where he is, when he hears someone scoot a desk, and he turns his head away.]
((Trusting and expecting Haru to follow along side of him, Makoto walks away with that same small smile. He's not sure what's gotten into Haru, and while some times the sad haunt that follows Haru around worries him, Makoto can't help but feel that there are times that Haru is warmer than he he used to be. A bit more like back then - or... no, Haru's never been warm like this.
Is warmer even the right way to describe it? the ensuing silence is probably a little strange from Makoto. He's lost in thought now, trying to figure out what exactly it is about Haru that's different.
Something that makes him "colder" and "warmer." Colder on his own, but warmer when they were closer. His lips formed an apparent frown, thoughtless on his own part.
His stomach growls, and he stops, becoming alert to the world around. They're already at the shoreline.)) Ah! That's right, we didn't really have much for lunch, did we? ((Makoto had given Haru half his lunch. He scans the storefront behind them.)) Would it be alright with you if we ate out really quick? Pretty sure my mom's gone and the twins have been staying after for tutoring.
[As they finally head out, Haru falls into step next to Makoto, mind slowly clearing the longer they walk. It's weird, he realizes, that Makoto isn't filling it with mild chatter or questions about his day, but Haru can't say he doesn't appreciate the silence. Sometimes it's good having a quiet moment, and he finds himself just comfortable in Makoto's company alone.
Whatever he's been thinking, whatever he's even been feeling, like the lukewarm sensation that keeps washing through his chest, he doesn't have to worry about it. Just the scent of seawater and the warm air--and Makoto's stomach growling. He must've been hungry... And the guilt hits Haru, that he'd willingly agreed to share Makoto's lunch when he stupidly forgot his own.
He's got the world's best friend ever. With a small sigh, Haru looks up at him.] Sure. I'll pay. [They have no reason to rush. Since Makoto won't have to look after his siblings and they've only got light homework, they could spare an hour or three without worry.]
Ah, really? ((He's surprised, but it goes away and he smiles back.)) I guess I can't say no. I'll pay you back later.
((Somehow, Haru paying for him is needlessly embarrassing.)) C'mon, I know just the place. ((The place being what Makoto figures is Haru's favourite restaurant. Nothing too expensive he figures, and if Haru is paying they might as well go where he likes. Besides, Makoto likes it too. He makes a bee like backwards, and a sharp right through the alley until they're on the street over.))
Edited (hitting enter before youre ready) 2015-03-01 03:15 (UTC)
You don't have to do that. [Makoto's friendship, as cheesy as it sounds, is payment enough. It's not every day that they end up treating each other monetary-wise, but they already do a lot for each other. And Makoto will probably pick a pretty good place for food; he usually knows the spots with the best mackerel.
By the route they're taking, Haru recognizes it instantly, and actually perks up a bit as he keeps in pace with Makoto. It isn't long before Haru's stomach growls too.]
((After a glance at Haru, Makoto can't help but chuckle. They didn't have much for lunch, did they?)) Guess this was a good idea after all. ((At a quickened pace, Makoto eventually reaches the door first, pulling it open for his friend.
It's not fastfood, but one does have to order up front. Makoto stares at the boards.)) Ah, though, I'm not really sure what I want... ((His lips twist as he considers.))
[Haru slides in easily, eyes skimming the menu. He already knows what he's ordering--he's very much a one-trick pony when it comes to their fried spicy mackerel dish, but sometimes there are interesting things on the menu to substitute his sides for--but he isn't at all surprised at Makoto's got to think.]
Oh! Right, uh. (( 'What can I get for you?' As makoto steps up behind Haru, he accidentally bumps into his friend, apologizes quickly as he sets his hand on Haru's back, worried if he jostled Haru. Although he makes a small space between the two of them, he still radiates warmth. He's sweet and kind as he orders, and finally steps back when he finishes.))
[What a buddy what a pal Makoto. Haru just looks down and begins fishing through his wallet for money, trying to avoid being distracted by the feel of Makoto's touch. There's just something weird about it... But he is quick to pay, then takes his change and shoves it into his wallet before moving back as well. Just a few minutes to get everything, and then they can head back. Haru is starting to feel like he's dealt with too many people that day.]
((As they wait the few seconds, Makoto glances at Haru from the corner of his eyes and frowns a little. Something up with Haru again, something brought it back. Maybe it's just the empty space to talk?
He leans a little when he talks, his voice obviously lower. It's obvious he wants to express a little more need for privacy from the crowd.)) Something bothering you?
[The answer is very much 'yes', but Haru isn't sure how to vocalize it. Or if he should at all. It's just been a very weird day, and he's pretty sure he'll end up soaking extra long in his bathtub that night. But to keep Makoto from worrying--he doubts it'll work, but he'll try anyway--he just shakes his head.]
...It's noisy in here.
[Not overly so, but that's his excuse. See, harmless.]
((A heavier frown. It's obvious already he doesn't believe you.
But he doesn't press it, bowing his head a little and muttering: )) Well, hopefully it doesn't take too long. Do you want to sit by the beach? Or just head straight home?
It's closer. [But the thought of the beach brings out a spark in Haru's eyes that's a little familiar and a little closer to home: he really wants to go swimming. Tell him no, Makoto.]
((Makoto gives a little sigh as Haru walks away because god, boy, you are something else. But as Haru approaches with the food, Makoto is already getting the door.))
((Right away! Makoto pauses for a moment behind Haru and looks off. AFter amoment thought, he taps Haru.)) How about we sit on one of those benches by the shore. Nice view and relatively quiet, yeah? ((He smiles, and heads off.
Lucky for them, the bench closest to them is free, and Makoto does a quick jog to claim it, looking back.)) Ah, looks like we got lucky! Saves us an extra walk. ((And once Haru has caught up, he takes his seat, leaving ample room for Haru to sit wherever he wants.))
[The benches sound like a good idea. Haru follows after Makoto, sitting with just enough space between them to set the food. He reaches in for another fry and just glances towards the ocean.
((Getting comfortable with a foot tucked under his thigh and grabbing his food, Makoto eats with the throw-away tray close to his mouth, his eyes also on the ocean for a time.)) It always looks nice this time of day, ((he mutters passively before guiding the food to his mouth. In the silence, letting his mind stray, he wonders exactly if he should make another attempt at figuring out what has been on Haru's mind the last couple of days.)) Ah, they did a really good job with the food today, too! ((Positive things muttered with pleasure as he ponders to the side.
So... once Haru's guard is down, Makoto turns toward him, hesitating for a moment befoe continuing:)) Hey, do you mind if we talk? ((There's a certain seriousness in his voice.))
[The water has him instantly relaxed, as it normally tends to do. He still looks tired, but less jumpy or lost. Staring towards the water, he just goes for his spicy mackerel and digs in, digging right in. Makoto's words get a nod out of him, and he's already back in a pleasant (well, pleasant-ish, given him) mood. Which doesn't completely show outright save for the soft look on his face as he gazes across the beach.
He's mid-bite when Makoto's request comes in, and he can almost immediately tell what it's about. There's something about the tone in Makoto's voice that has his shoulders stiffening a little, but, well, it was bound to happen. There's only so much Haru can truly hide from Makoto, and he should've known to expect it. He just nods, slow and deliberate, lowering his meal as he finishes chewing. Go on.]
Haru put up no fight against the question, no awkward glances, nothing telling of an incorrect accusation. In a way, he hoped that it wouldn't be the response he was getting, and immediately feared what may be said in the minutes to come. Reluctance consumes Makoto and he finds himself jaw hung awkwardly as he stares at Haru. Something was certainly wrong.
Biting finally, he swallows a littler nervously, but glances away at the last second to give himself a little extra time. Fingers curl gently around his take out, but he sets it aside to spare himself any small nuance. Letting his hands drape off his thighs and he thinks.))
I guess you've just... been acting kind of weirdly lately so I'm worried. I mean after everything...
[Of course Makoto would be worried. Honestly, Haru would have been concerned if he wasn't, but he figures he can't hide it for that long. Makoto's been giving him looks all afternoon, and Haru's gone from doing his best to hide it to losing all strength in trying. He misses rest, without nightmares, lacking in nights filled with crippling fear and anxiety keeping him from even leaving his room when the lights were out.
Haru just watches him, but soon turns his head away and just sighs.]
...I know. I'm sorry.
[He looks down and just sighs, his eyes shutting.] It's stupid. I've just been... tired.
((Taking in the moment, he decides it couldn't possibly be stupid. He didn't take Haru as someone to be so bothered by things so minute.
Makoto presses his palms against the bench to scootch himself closer to his friend and close the gap, then slouches over to close the space. A gesture of privacy, Haru could be as quiet as he needed.)) Do you wanna talk about it? I mean... if something's bothering you, I'd like to help fix it... if I can.
[The gentle touch has Haru opening his eyes, a little surprised. He shouldn't be, as it's Makoto, the second most likely person to invade his personal space, but he hadn't been expecting it. His shoulders slump a little, and he immediately caves against his friend, head bumping Makoto's shoulder. It feels okay to do this. More contact than Haru is used to, especially more than he's initiated, but... He needs it. It helps.
There's another heavy breath from him, and it takes him a little while to try and find words again. He doesn't want to outright say anything, but he trusts Makoto. He owes it to him, at least a little, from burdening him this much with worrying him. Haru's voice crumbles a little more.]
((He's surprised, but he doesn't reject the motion. Pausing for a moment as he looked down at his friend, worry clouding his eyes. But without much delay, he lets his head fall to the side as well, jawline touching Haru's hair.)) If you're really that tired, we should have headed home. ((He lectures, but not seriously, his eyes halfmast as he looks over the beach.)) Kind of late for that now, though.
((If Haru was tired, then he could rest on Makoto as long as he needed. He stared quietly at the waving sea, comfortable where he was and with his friend. It must have been from lack of sleep, but Makoto couldn't imagine what caused it. A creature of habit likely didn't want a new mattress or pillow, so he dismissed that quickly. It couldn't... be about Rin, although the thought crossed his mind so many times, it didn't make sense and Makoto concluded that finally. Maybe Haru just needed something more than usual.... maybe just a rest here together beside the ocean was ideal. Even if Makoto had said home would be better, he began to think that resting here was the best plan.
But a thought hits him and he lifts his head, turning to Haru: )) It's nothing to do with me, right? ((He felt silly asking the question, and no doubt the feeling showed on his confused face, but.... Haru resting on his shoulder beside the ocean. Maybe Haru needed him more often? Makoto worried he had been negligent to his best friend.))
[Makoto doesn't get it. He can tell by the gentle lecturing--that they could've gone home, where Haru could sleep, in his own bed--and he knows Makoto doesn't understand, so he isn't upset at all. But he finds himself a little lost here. It isn't often that he finds it hard to talk to Makoto; usually his friend understands him almost better than he does, but on the few times it does happen, it's just terrible. Tiring, messy, complicated. Things Haru hates.
Were it up to him, his life would be transparent as water. Really, his life would just be water; swimming, living near the beach, a pool, all of that. Haru doesn't need much else. But he knows it's more complex than that. Even just looking at the waves, so calm and settled, it feels almost like a lie. Like things are worse than they seem, that he shouldn't be sitting here so casually. The only thing that seems to feel okay is being near Makoto. He at least enjoys looking at the waves more, and he doesn't make a single notion that he wants to move or go home. Outside of eating slowly, he doesn't move at all.
But the question that Makoto poses has Haru looking up, a little surprised. He just shakes his head, and a soft huff of a laugh escapes as he returns his head to Makoto's shoulder.]
It's not you. It's... it's just me. It's just been harder to sleep.
...Right... ((He muttered, though he sounded uncertain, it wasn't with Haru. Absolutely he believed his fried, but it was himself he felt uncertain of. How embarrassing.... but if Haru wouldn't talk of it, if it had nothing to do with himself, then Makoto couldn't pry it out of him if he tried. After frowning for a while, he eventually settles back into the spot with a sigh, letting his thoughts drift around like the current pulling ships and creatures across the ocean. his eyes closed as his cheek turned slightly, his nose and lips a little closer to Haru's head. At the very least, he was glad it wasn't him.
Time passed, Makoto's food that hadn't been touched went cold, and Makoto opened his eyes, not sure if he'd fallen asleep or if the time had simply passed quickly while resting with Haru like this. But it was a buzz on his phone that stirred him from his comfortable spot with Haru, having to twist uncomfortable so he could get to the phone and check the message.
Mom Haru could likely see the text as it opens up, which after he's read it, he laughs: )) "Nii-san come home" doesn't sound like a very mom thing to write. ((He snaps his phone closed and looks at Haru. A message from the twins on their mother's cellphone.)) Do you mind if we head back? I didn't really warn anyone I'd be out late.
[Haru's energy on trying to explain his own problems fades quickly; when he tries to word it out, it just sounds stupid. He's seventeen, he shouldn't be having nightmares as stupidly as he is, especially when there's no basis behind it. Nothing's really changed; he's still him, still has his habits with Makoto and his time with him, still has school and swimming and mackerel fillets and still lives by the ocean. Everything is fine.
Or at least it should be. When Makoto doesn't say more, Haru sighs softly but just stills, and the peace settles across them both. He barely munches on a few more fries before he stops moving, and he near falls asleep himself. It's an even better rest than he had during their last class, and he huffs softly as Makoto reaches for his phone.
Oh... it's been a while. Haru doesn't want to burden Makoto more than he already has, so he nods and drops the remainder of his food into his bag.] Yeah... We should get you home. I'm sorry I kept you. [He wonders if Makoto will invite him over, or if he can sneak on his way back home. He doesn't want to say anything, for worry that he'll seem like he's trying to withdraw--but to be honest, he is. He's still tired.]
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His eyelids, heavy, shut on him once more, and he drops the pencil on his desk. It's lunchtime, and he and Makoto have plans to meet Rei and Nagisa on the roof, yet he hasn't moved at all. Whatever's going on, he doesn't like it. He doesn't appreciate not getting any sleep, or this uncomfortably warm feeling that spreads through his chest every time Makoto brushes shoulders with him. A dream is just a dream, although Haru can't help but feel like the pain of a broken jaw and the warmth of Makoto's hands were very real. Whatever it is, it's done now, he'd told himself earlier in the week.
But apparently, it wasn't. Days later, and he couldn't make heads or tails of any of it. It's downright exhausting, by the fourth day, where he's already forgotten his bento at home and isn't paying much attention in school. They should head to meet with the others... but he can't bring himself to move.]
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From Rin's perspective, it seemed like a good idea, but thinking on it further, he wasn't sure if it would be good for Haru. Maybe Haru was ripped up about losing? That didn't make sense, he seemed refreshed after everything. But that air was leaving, and whatever was festering now didn't smell right. Makoto's eyebrows pinch together as he thinks, uncertain. He noticed it a couple of days ago, but it seemed to get worse. There were a couple times Makotot thought he was misunderstanding Haru's mood, time where Haru's eyes seemed to shimmer at him and not at the ocean. The moments were weird, but Haru was weird. Makoto felt less certain about his friend than he felt comfortable with.
Now the aura around Haru is black, and Makoto glances over briefly, his thoughts moving away from how strange Haru had been the last few days and staying the course toward whether or not he should invite Haru and Rin over to hang out. He looked tired, Makoto deduces. Was he not getting enough sleep? But why? Makoto can't do anything now since class is still in session, so he turns back to his paper. No, he writes on his paper. He would invite Rin over, and if that's alright, he'd at least let Haru know he's welcome to join.
He sighs to himself. Maybe he'll ask Haru about it on the walk home today.
Makoto moves as he normally does when class is dismissed, but looks up surprised when Haru hasn't as well, even after a little delay. His lips turn down. With bag on his shoulder, he stands up and nears Haru.))
Haru? ((If that doesn't get his attention, he'll repeat it and touch his friend's shoulder.))
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It's strange. He doesn't like it--
"Haru?"
But the lecture is still going on, Haru's sure. He braces himself, as if trying to will himself to not fall asleep in class, to not focus on that nightmare, whatever it is, in this public place. He needs to grab his pencil, grab some tool from reality to hold on to, to think about anything else--but the touch on his shoulder works too. He jumps a little at the realization of Makoto's hand on his shoulder, and whips around to stare at Makoto. The hand on hs shoulder is real, warm and sturdy but gentle as always. Haru's just being foolish. He just needs to stop thinking so hard, and to stop staring so intently out of the window.
It takes him a few long seconds to calm himself, a strange concern in his eyes as he stares at Makoto, but he turns his head away finally as a distant gaze falls onto his face. Everything's fine. And it's got to be lunchtime, the sound of moving desks and chatter's beginning to overwhelm the room. He doesn't have an appetite at all.]
Sorry. [His voice is small and nearly whispered, and he shuts the blank notebook before him.] Time to go?
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The more he thought about it, the more he recalls the haunted expression in Haru's face. Distantly, he thinks of all the potential things that might be on Haru's mind to make him this way.))
Oh, Haru, you know, I've been thinking. Since the club started we haven't really taken Ren and Ran swimming this summer. Break is coming up, too; I'm sure they'd love it. ((Looking for a little spirit in Haru.))
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Wait. Taking Ren and Ran swimming means swimming, and Haru's attention immediately turns back to Makoto. They really haven't had the time, have they...]
Just tell me when.
[He's already in his jammers. Which just translates to 'give him a date and he'll get himself out of the bathtub.]
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They'll probably want to go this weekend.
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Makoto is still Makoto, and nothing is different. Right?
His response is a slow nod, mouth barely parted, and silent. Whether he's responding to himself, or to Makoto's verbalized question, remains a mystery even to him. It takes him a few solid seconds to remember where he is, when he hears someone scoot a desk, and he turns his head away.]
Yeah. Let's go.
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Is warmer even the right way to describe it? the ensuing silence is probably a little strange from Makoto. He's lost in thought now, trying to figure out what exactly it is about Haru that's different.
Something that makes him "colder" and "warmer." Colder on his own, but warmer when they were closer. His lips formed an apparent frown, thoughtless on his own part.
His stomach growls, and he stops, becoming alert to the world around. They're already at the shoreline.)) Ah! That's right, we didn't really have much for lunch, did we? ((Makoto had given Haru half his lunch. He scans the storefront behind them.)) Would it be alright with you if we ate out really quick? Pretty sure my mom's gone and the twins have been staying after for tutoring.
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Whatever he's been thinking, whatever he's even been feeling, like the lukewarm sensation that keeps washing through his chest, he doesn't have to worry about it. Just the scent of seawater and the warm air--and Makoto's stomach growling. He must've been hungry... And the guilt hits Haru, that he'd willingly agreed to share Makoto's lunch when he stupidly forgot his own.
He's got the world's best friend ever. With a small sigh, Haru looks up at him.] Sure. I'll pay. [They have no reason to rush. Since Makoto won't have to look after his siblings and they've only got light homework, they could spare an hour or three without worry.]
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((Somehow, Haru paying for him is needlessly embarrassing.)) C'mon, I know just the place. ((The place being what Makoto figures is Haru's favourite restaurant. Nothing too expensive he figures, and if Haru is paying they might as well go where he likes. Besides, Makoto likes it too. He makes a bee like backwards, and a sharp right through the alley until they're on the street over.))
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By the route they're taking, Haru recognizes it instantly, and actually perks up a bit as he keeps in pace with Makoto. It isn't long before Haru's stomach growls too.]
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It's not fastfood, but one does have to order up front. Makoto stares at the boards.)) Ah, though, I'm not really sure what I want... ((His lips twist as he considers.))
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What are you in the mood for?
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He leans a little when he talks, his voice obviously lower. It's obvious he wants to express a little more need for privacy from the crowd.)) Something bothering you?
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...It's noisy in here.
[Not overly so, but that's his excuse. See, harmless.]
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But he doesn't press it, bowing his head a little and muttering: )) Well, hopefully it doesn't take too long. Do you want to sit by the beach? Or just head straight home?
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You decide. I'm good with wherever.
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It's closer. [But the thought of the beach brings out a spark in Haru's eyes that's a little familiar and a little closer to home: he really wants to go swimming. Tell him no, Makoto.]
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But as the lady calls their order out, Haru doesn't remark and merely goes to fetch their meals.]
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Lucky for them, the bench closest to them is free, and Makoto does a quick jog to claim it, looking back.)) Ah, looks like we got lucky! Saves us an extra walk. ((And once Haru has caught up, he takes his seat, leaving ample room for Haru to sit wherever he wants.))
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It's a very nice day out.]
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So... once Haru's guard is down, Makoto turns toward him, hesitating for a moment befoe continuing:)) Hey, do you mind if we talk? ((There's a certain seriousness in his voice.))
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He's mid-bite when Makoto's request comes in, and he can almost immediately tell what it's about. There's something about the tone in Makoto's voice that has his shoulders stiffening a little, but, well, it was bound to happen. There's only so much Haru can truly hide from Makoto, and he should've known to expect it. He just nods, slow and deliberate, lowering his meal as he finishes chewing. Go on.]
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Haru put up no fight against the question, no awkward glances, nothing telling of an incorrect accusation. In a way, he hoped that it wouldn't be the response he was getting, and immediately feared what may be said in the minutes to come. Reluctance consumes Makoto and he finds himself jaw hung awkwardly as he stares at Haru. Something was certainly wrong.
Biting finally, he swallows a littler nervously, but glances away at the last second to give himself a little extra time. Fingers curl gently around his take out, but he sets it aside to spare himself any small nuance. Letting his hands drape off his thighs and he thinks.))
I guess you've just... been acting kind of weirdly lately so I'm worried. I mean after everything...
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Haru just watches him, but soon turns his head away and just sighs.]
...I know. I'm sorry.
[He looks down and just sighs, his eyes shutting.] It's stupid. I've just been... tired.
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Makoto presses his palms against the bench to scootch himself closer to his friend and close the gap, then slouches over to close the space. A gesture of privacy, Haru could be as quiet as he needed.)) Do you wanna talk about it? I mean... if something's bothering you, I'd like to help fix it... if I can.
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There's another heavy breath from him, and it takes him a little while to try and find words again. He doesn't want to outright say anything, but he trusts Makoto. He owes it to him, at least a little, from burdening him this much with worrying him. Haru's voice crumbles a little more.]
I'm just... so tired...
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((If Haru was tired, then he could rest on Makoto as long as he needed. He stared quietly at the waving sea, comfortable where he was and with his friend. It must have been from lack of sleep, but Makoto couldn't imagine what caused it. A creature of habit likely didn't want a new mattress or pillow, so he dismissed that quickly. It couldn't... be about Rin, although the thought crossed his mind so many times, it didn't make sense and Makoto concluded that finally. Maybe Haru just needed something more than usual.... maybe just a rest here together beside the ocean was ideal. Even if Makoto had said home would be better, he began to think that resting here was the best plan.
But a thought hits him and he lifts his head, turning to Haru: )) It's nothing to do with me, right? ((He felt silly asking the question, and no doubt the feeling showed on his confused face, but.... Haru resting on his shoulder beside the ocean. Maybe Haru needed him more often? Makoto worried he had been negligent to his best friend.))
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Were it up to him, his life would be transparent as water. Really, his life would just be water; swimming, living near the beach, a pool, all of that. Haru doesn't need much else. But he knows it's more complex than that. Even just looking at the waves, so calm and settled, it feels almost like a lie. Like things are worse than they seem, that he shouldn't be sitting here so casually. The only thing that seems to feel okay is being near Makoto. He at least enjoys looking at the waves more, and he doesn't make a single notion that he wants to move or go home. Outside of eating slowly, he doesn't move at all.
But the question that Makoto poses has Haru looking up, a little surprised. He just shakes his head, and a soft huff of a laugh escapes as he returns his head to Makoto's shoulder.]
It's not you. It's... it's just me. It's just been harder to sleep.
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Time passed, Makoto's food that hadn't been touched went cold, and Makoto opened his eyes, not sure if he'd fallen asleep or if the time had simply passed quickly while resting with Haru like this. But it was a buzz on his phone that stirred him from his comfortable spot with Haru, having to twist uncomfortable so he could get to the phone and check the message.
Mom Haru could likely see the text as it opens up, which after he's read it, he laughs: )) "Nii-san come home" doesn't sound like a very mom thing to write. ((He snaps his phone closed and looks at Haru. A message from the twins on their mother's cellphone.)) Do you mind if we head back? I didn't really warn anyone I'd be out late.
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Or at least it should be. When Makoto doesn't say more, Haru sighs softly but just stills, and the peace settles across them both. He barely munches on a few more fries before he stops moving, and he near falls asleep himself. It's an even better rest than he had during their last class, and he huffs softly as Makoto reaches for his phone.
Oh... it's been a while. Haru doesn't want to burden Makoto more than he already has, so he nods and drops the remainder of his food into his bag.] Yeah... We should get you home. I'm sorry I kept you. [He wonders if Makoto will invite him over, or if he can sneak on his way back home. He doesn't want to say anything, for worry that he'll seem like he's trying to withdraw--but to be honest, he is. He's still tired.]